home from home

many many miles this week travelled, so i reflect on what has been, and what is to come.....

GB angels wing and a prayer weekend attended with jules and grace, and a couple of other hundred 'bhp's (beautiful human peoples) - (a fitting phrase borrowed from this bhp http://www.pipwilson.com )......Beautiful in all their (our!) imperfection, human-ness.......

Now I am not the greatest mixer, and find it difficult meeting new people, real difficult sometimes, I am a shirker and avoider with new things and new people, it takes me a long time to allow anyone in to my world.
This is sad, i know, I sometimes wish I could be more open and welcoming, but I am not, I am the way I am, and I struggle with the new.
But it is a struggle that must be dealt with, and I shall continue with it......

No mega late nights this weekend, a lot of time spent in my own world amongst the meeting of new, nearly new, and not so new folk, fellow Greenbelt people.
I did not feel alone, yet I did not feel a complete part of the group.
That is not unusual for me, but I am trying to work it through in myself of why I am the way I am.

I am cynical and un-trusting....... careful and not open, but I listen, I listen and I try to hear.....

Recording and processing the feelings, the words.....

Today, though unsure and wary, I took communion for the first time in adult memory.

It was my choice and it was simple, uncomplicated, bread and wine..........

I did this in remembrance of Him......