Tuesday, August 03, 2010

With Melancholy

In melancholic mood right now. The aftermath of a right old shout-at-the-universe afternoon.A culmination of experiences of an alike-ilk can bring that on in even the most laid back and care-free soul.
I think we get most angry and pissed off at the things that we really care about the most - when they don't go to plan or let us down in some way.
It is a skill I am still learning how to master - these uber-feelings of intensity.

Things that hurt, things that re-cut the wound that has not healed properly in the soul.

Its good to have a good old curse and swear periodically (I find it better in a soundproofed room but hope that doesn't turn one day into a padded one...). One needs a place to vent. To let go.
Some of the greatest Art surely must have been born out of the creative channeling of such powerful emotives.

So when one cares deeply about something, or someone, I say I am quite happy within my own acceptance that some folk can be absolute dickheads, its just sad when they have too much control in some way over something one is involved with, and one is powerless to counter the dis-empowerment that creates for oneself.
I say the prayer: God grant me the power to accept the things I cannot change, Change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference'. That helps me. Try it, it may help you too.

So, I retreat from this battle even further and find myself stronger for that. But as melancholy as a blues song in my thoughts and reach for understanding. There will be a future time when today will ring out like a liberty bell - the tone and sweetness of which will ripple with perfect mathematical elegance through time and space. My soul has a tear, a rip. You cannot see it except through my eyes. They look upon you beyond what is visible. I feel it in my guts.

Short version: empower the disempowered. give back what is not yours to take, take what you are offered always with gratitude and never let it go to your head and thus impart sufferings however small on other good and kind souls.

Don't Let The Bastards Grind You Down.

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