Thursday, June 18, 2009

Soooooooooo......

Hey, I know...... so I got out of the habit of blogging...... it happens, no?

But there comes a time, with this oft maligned and criticised method of publication / communication / thinking-outloud-ness / spiel, called blogging, that allows one to pick it up again. Hence this.

It may be the time of day (4.45 AM) that instills some sense of space that allows blogging time, though to be completely honest, that should not really matter - as this, my usual 'workplace', come place I inhabit almost day and night round, has no windows, is almost completely soundproofed, and allows me (if I am not careful!), to be almost immune to the normal constraints and regularity of BST (British Summer Time)....

There are advantages to this way of living, and there are disadvantages.

The disadvantages are danger of feelings of complete isolation and living in my own wee world, only dipping in and out of the 'real' world place that is but a few interior door thresholds away....
Absolutely no sense of involvement or community or social inter-action. Well, physically that is.
I do retain some sense of the aforementioned through web-interactivity, social networky touches, and through email, and internet-based work interactions, and for those i am duly grateful.
But, to be honest, the danger is getting USED to this hermit style existance, and at the moment, I am very comfortable with it.... overly so I am realising.
No one to bother me, I can do what I want, when I want. Self indulgence is an easy trap to slip into and a sticky quagmire to haul oneself out of.

Maybe a list is needed - prioritise?
I do a good list, but am hopeless at working through it.
Like now, I can do a number of things, or go back to sleep.
Do them later.

(Sleep is a strange beast - I love to do it whenever I want to / need to, can go a full 24 hours without it, then spend days wanting to do little else.
I am an idle fool who is prone to utter laziness and the easy life. Nothing new there then...
But not averse to getting stuck in and making a success of a small project or job).


Things that are floating my boat right now.....

Doing the mixing and editing of the Greenbelt Podcasts
Working in a very small way for my alltime favourite rock band
Taking pics of gear to flog on Ebay with my new camera


Things I am really looking forward to.....

Seeing U2 in Dublin with great people
Visiting Edinburgh on Saturday to experience The Project
Seeing U2 in Glasgow with great people
Seeing U2 in Sheffield with great people
Attending Greenbelt Festival
A week in a caravan in Northumberland with my beloved's


Things that I need to do but am procrastinating over.....

Fixing up the front of the house
Making a real bigger effort on the ebay sales front (though making inroads...)
Do things as a family more / better


Things I need to do but have no real desire, therefore probably won't.....

Find a church
Belong to a local community
Be more of a people person


Things that are getting me down.....

The realisation that I have never had, and will probably never have a 'career'
The understanding of my limitations and lack of drive
The feeling that no one really gives a shit what I have to say
Being adrift on quite a luxurious boat, but without fellowship to make the cruise mean anything


There, we have it - a list........ now I choose sleep.

night night xxx

2 comments:

Pip Wilson BHP said...

great blog
love it
and you are beautiful
a great friend

Anonymous said...

ARE WE ONLY HALF ALIVE?

As long as we are alive we have to live. Do we care just to be half alive, or shall we conquer our fears and be among those who are up and doing and alive to their fingertips?

How many are sick because they fail to organize their emotions, fail to acknowledge the law of God and nature that governs the human body, a most intricate machine, worthy of the best knowledge and effort we can put forth to keep it in perfect working order.