Tuesday, December 20, 2005

the broken plug

hey! twice in a week, i am getting good again.....must be the festive spirit.....(mines a red bull and ginger beer....)

the broken plug.......

48 years our bath has been living in our bathroom, long before i was thought of, the big heavy green iron beast must have been hauled up the stairs by some burly types, and fixed in.
Last of all, the plug must have been fitted in the plughole, and filled for the first time......

well, tonight, that trusted, inanimate, wonderful creation of technology, the bath plug broke.....snapped in 2, 48 years old, now dead.

The irony of the the fact that i just happened to be sitting in said bath at the time, having my pre-Christmas bath, should not escape us here.....not a one for baths, (stinky git i hear!) - shower is the usual cleansing device of my preference, but now and again I really build up for that nice soak, a good mag (Sound on Sound usually good for this purpose), and mmmmmm...i am sure you know.....
My method of having a bath is a lengthy ritual, as said, a rare occurunce.....
I ask Jules to fill it up, nice and bubbly, no cold water, just fill it right up and 'allow natural cooling to occur' before, about 20 minutes after filled and much faffing about, the toe makes its entry........i love it boiling and just about bearable, easing in bit at a time like the soft lad i am......

That is the preferred method, however, today, upon dipping the toe in, instant realization that the water is just lukewarm......hmmmmmm, not good, so sit down, lie back, and call jules for assistance.........'can you just run the hot, and let out a bit as it fills up, you know, replacing the lukewarm with the boiling........' jules not happy to be called upstairs just to be my fair hand maiden, but after much begging, she does it to shut my yapping.......
Thats when it happened.......she pulled the plug, and it broke in 2.......
So i am lying back as the water gradually disappears, leaving my mass like an ascending giant island in the receding seas.......i am helpless......jules if frantically trying to plug hole with broken plug......even borrowing basin plug and trying that, but of course its just too small........and i am left....wet arsed.......in my birthday suit,,,,,with a few suds for a rapidly cooling blanket........shivering
this is not good.......but it does cap a very 'one of those days' days.........

up at 5 AM to watch england pakistan one day cricket (streamed on the net on mega studio screen)
they were crap and got stuffed

1st parcel of the day, an ebay 'bargain', arrives. Unwrap the excellently packed items...looking good, profit here?.......
Sad realization within moments what i have purchased is 5 dead ducks...... literally!

text message......'your parcel today was not collected'.....
(ebay seller, 5th time! yes FIFTH time i have sent a courier to collect my parcel off him, and it hasnt happened...nor i fear, ever will, he is laughing i know it as he is on his way to the shops to spend my cash on something nice for himself.....

oh, and my shoes dissintegrated, after i spent an hour unblocking the ouside drain.


Laugh?........, you got to..... havent you....

go on, dont mind me.........

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