Saturday, December 24, 2005

anger is an energy

so sang john lydon.

Tonight, much anger, seen.....experienced....felt.

Consett, County Durham. is a rough place.
Can be rough, IS rough.
Holding back on the effs here.

Fuck it.
Fucking rough.

Violence, once again, swept through this north, edge of pennine, ex massive steelworks town,
It came in waves.
Young boys, lads, barely men with points to prove, fists to swing, beer to swill.

I was part of it, not violent, no.
But aware of it and in the thick of it.

Everyone seemed to have been out on the pop just that wee bit earlier, and it is a bloody scene...even in the taxi home, police cordons in Leadgate, which makes consett look like disneyland in comparison.

Someone is hurt.....someone may be more than hurt

Violence was in the air, even before I personally saw it, it was in personal relationships... fallings out, name calling and macho bullshit.

I am worn out and feel like I have gone 20 rounds with tyson.

Had a few bevvy's, and have been tearful
Not through softness.
If you are thinking that, fuck off... (see what I mean!)

My tears are for hope.

that the world is a fucked up place, and only redeemed in the fact that the Father sent his Son here , some 2000 years ago to sort it all out.
His job was big then.
Its even bigger now, and these coming days I will celebrate the birth of that infant.

With joy and hope.

So tough to even write these words joy and hope in the midst of all the shit.

But it is there.

And I believe it.

I am redeemed by that joy and hope, and by the birth of that infant.

You may know him, you may just know His name

Jesus Christ.

Son of God.

Son of man.

The Light.
The Way.
The Answer.

If you tell me I am some religious nut or soft happy clappy christian, then again, all I can say is...fuck off.

I am a 40 year old, issue ridden, tearful, imperfect, beautiful (although I sometimes forget!) human person.

Just blogging my thoughts and feelings, and hoping for YOU, yes you, a joyous and hopeful Noel.


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