100 percent of 100 percent

no such thing as 'giving' 110 percent.
shite.....it is not possible.
All you can ever give is 100 percent.
rarely, if ever, maybe a few times in this boys life have i given 100 percent OF 100 percent.
Its a tough ask

I was truely truely blessed, just over 2 years ago, in a hotel lobby in Cheltenham, sitting on me own over a pint, happened to spot this fella at the bar, and plucked up the courage to go and introduce meself.
Story many times told, but in an instant my life changed, never to be the same again.......

He introduced me to his friends, some of which I knew of, and some of which I didnt, but got to since.......

One rare, unique, sweet event ensued as the night wore on into the wee hours, as I shared my reasons for being where I was that night / weekend, and these words from another man, Mike Yaconelli, which he said to me, right into my eyes, into my heart..........

"if 50 percent is all you have to give, and you can only stump up 20 percent of that 50 per cent, and that is all you have to offer, then man, does God just love you like no other...........loves YOU!
Loves you as much now as He ever has, or ever will....period......."
Maybe not the exact words, but the gist.

Like a cricket bat in the goolies that moment.............I have dwelled on its meaning much since.....it has become real and true, as I learned to accept this beautiful man's imparted wisdom........

So, it brings me to me point this evening......

Recently I did the 100 percent OF 100 percent thing
sustained over a few week period and intensified over one weekend in August here
I was able to serve God by serving my fellow man / God-infected organisation without financial reward, or personal reward, other than the knowledge it was done in honour of certain people, and for 1 rather special person who actually gave up his own life for ME, around 2000 years ago.....

The red pill was taken, and its effects witnessed......


A rollercoaster ride, still riding it of course, now there is no getting off of it.

Though I am necking the blue pills as fast as I can get em since i got home, they dont seem to have any effect on me......

Confused?
Me too

I feel just as much the big selfish twat i know i can be, still making the same mistakes, going down the wrong roads far too often, falling back into idle ways of human-ness.

i am what I am, and its hard to know what that is sometimes, i am sure you feel that way too sometimes.....

I dont know if the 100 percent thingy will ever be acheivable, or if i even want to get there again, as it absolutely nearly fucking killed me!
not good for personal relationships this serving business, so care has to be taken and rest and doing different stuff has to be undertaken before hopefully, clarity and committment to anything can be given

So, look out this wek for pics of the bigjohn gardens getting a massive overhaul as we demolish 50 year old asbestos buildings, knock down walls and fill skips, burn rubbish and smash all kinds of crap to smithereens to build the chick her new playground where she can grow up and dream in.........

Losing tons of sweat, and burning fat (much needed!), listening to cricket, but also.....waiting.....waiting.....listening.....praying............living

bj